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How to Win a Fight With a Conservative


by Daniel Kurtzman


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Publisher: Sourcebooks 
Publish Date:Jun 21, 2007
Paperback,  177 pages

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Summary

How to Win a Fight With a Conservative is the ultimate survival guide to arguing politics, filled with cunning strategies and damning facts guaranteed to bait and baffle right-wing blowhards everywhere. With the presidential election approaching, this irreverent yet practical guide is essential reading for unpracticed neophytes and seasoned politicos alike — the perfect primer for anyone who's ever fantasized about smacking sense into a misguided conservative adversary.

With the help of the tips and tricks in this book, we'll show you how to confidently tangle with conservatives in any situation from surviving family sparring matches to engaging in Internet flame wars, or even what to do if you're sleeping with the enemy.

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It is possible I’ve read books worse than Tony Blankley’s American Grit: What It Will Take To Survive And Win In The 21st Century, but it is hard to recall any of them right now. This slim volume – 188 pages of actual argument, large type on every page, ample white space between every line – would make for a very nice present to a very dim conservative who you wanted to play a practical joke on.
   
Blankley is a syndicated columnist who served as press secretary to Newt Gingrich and speechwriter to Ronald Reagan. He is a man who knows quite a bit more about launching political insurrections than I do. Even so, I’ve rarely heard of ideological renewal – much less a strategy for 21st century survival -- emerging quite so haphazardly. Blankley’s vision for the future is the sort of thing that would hardly withstand the rigors of a shoutfest on the McLaughlin Report. Which is fitting, in a sense, because that’s where it comes from.
   
“It never occurred to me precisely where my political philosophy was moving until an appearance on the McLaughlin Group television show a few years ago,” writes Blankley. He goes on to relate a particularly illuminating exchange he had in which McLaughlin demanded to know the agenda of “neo-cons” like Blankley. “I’m not a neo-con,” Blankley replied. “Well, what are you?” asked McLaughlin. What comes next is a direct quote from the book: “With the red light of the television camera focused on me, I paused and thought for a second or two, and then more or less blurted out, ‘I’m a nationalist!’”
   
“That ended the conversation,” recalls Blankley, “but only started me thinking more about ... continue reading >
Twelve Popular Conservative Bumper Stickers

Following is an excerpt from How to Win a Fight with a Conservative by Daniel Kurtzman.

1.  
 In case of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned

2.    Ted Kennedy’s Car Has Killed More People Than My Gun

3.  
 If You’re Gonna Burn Our Flag, Wrap Yourself in It First

4. 
   Run, Hillary, Run (placed on front bumper)

5.  
 Protest Noted. Now Shut the Hell Up!

6. 
   My Honor Student Beat Up France

7.
    No Oil for Pacifists

8.
    Spotted Owls Taste Like Chicken

9.
    If Guns Kill People, then Spoons Make Michael Moore Fat

10.
    Stop Global Whining

11.
    My SUV Can Beat Up Your Prius

12.
    Except for Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, War Has Never Solved Anything

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